as soon as i turned 14, i spent that entire year figuring stuff out. i knew that my mother was not going to be NOT accepting but i just didn’t know how to approach it. i had never said it out loud.

it was the summer before high school and i was like i need to come out because i’m not going to be closeted in high school, i wanna be myself.

i told my sister in march 2018 after we saw “love, simon.” i told my mother may 15, 2018.

that morning i woke up and was like “i’m gonna tell her today.” she was at work and i couldn’t wait until she got home. so i thought it was easier to tell her through text so she could read when she was alone. i remember her texting back, “i love you and are you ok?” that was because in middle school, i was teased a lot. my mother and i have always been close. she is even more protective now. 

when i got the steps of the school, i told my friends that i came out to my mother and started to cry. i felt free.

I’ve known I was gay since kindergarten, but back then, I didn’t know the language to be able to truly express how I felt, nor was the environment safe enough to do so. As time progressed, I eventually came out sophomore year of high school, but accidentally outed myself on Facebook thanks to a school project.

Fast forward to present day, as I became more comfortable with my gender expression, it lead many to question my gender identity, with most of new folks just assuming that I’m trans. They say you can have multiple coming outs, which is true, because that common misconception lead to my finally come out as gender non-conforming, and to this day I proudly go by both he & she pronouns.

Coming out is a continual process and I’ve come out as so many things since I was 12. While each coming out story had a different reaction from my friends and family, what has remained constant are the feelings of joy, relief, and peace that I felt as I began to live my life authentically and out loud!

In coming out, I’ve lost family, supports, and even homes but I’ve gained a greater sense of self, an amazingly welcoming community of folks with similar identities, and most of all, the ability to share my story unabridged.

“At the age of 16, I didn’t know non-binary, transgender, queer and blackness identities could co-exist with one another. At the age of 23 I am a representation of all those identities and I am proud, and liberated. Because I make my own  journey, and folks choose to be apart of it or not but they can’t take what’s mine.” — Aidan, Philadelphia