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#MyStoryOutLoud | a project of Advocates for Youth
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Showing 68 posts tagged qpoc
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Isa - Jackson, MS

Q: What’s something you would tell a non-binary person in Jackson, MS?

Isa: The words of my grandmother, my father’s mother, she asked me a very challenging questioning. [laughs] at 16 that gave me an existential crisis I wasn’t ready for, however I am very very very grateful for it which was to ask me when I came out as “gay” [heavy quotes]. She looked me directly into the eyes, and she asked “are you sure or is that something someone else told YOU that you were. Like are you gay or is it that someone else or whatever the term is, told you ‘oh well based on these things, this is what you are.’ And in that moment, because even 10 years ago language was not where it is now, I was like, well shit, if I’m not gay and I’m not straight then…oh gosh, now I have an existential crisis, and now I don’t know what to do, now I’m breaking down. Reality? What? Existence?


Interviewer: What did you need to hear in that moment?


Isa: I needed to hear that question. I needed to hear that question because on some level, I knew things. However it was that like, breaking that open. Now granted her motives for asking that question, I can probably think of some things. I don’t know if she had that intention, however the question itself, the power of that question and that family for me, overall has been, ‘we love you and we want you to live your best life means like, okay, don’t claim things that aren’t yours.

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GSU student Kai shares his story about coming out and navigating social changes. 

Interviewer: So what is Kai’s story?

Kai: My story…see okay, I don’t really think I have like the traditional story, or like…

Interviewer: There’s no story that’s traditional.

Kai: I know, but like the typical, not typical, but like you know, this happens this happens this happens, bad thing, this happens, this happens. For me, coming out was like a thing that has been happening for the past two or three years. I feel like every day, I come out to someone new. But it’s the same thing if you’re queer and you feel like you have to come out to someone new everyday. Since like March, obviously, when I started testosterone and my features started changing, I haven’t had to come out to people anymore. I haven’t had to correct anyone on my pronouns or when people ask me my name and I say kind, they don’t like at me like [confused face], you know? But now, I’ve noticed the difference in how people interact with me. I was in Wal-Mart the other day, right, and I was with my sister. We were walking to the exit with our buggies, and my buggy was too close to this guy, so i was like “oh, my bad bro” and he looked at me like I was ridiculous for apologizing to him. But I know had the same thing happened while I was still presenting as female, then it would’ve been weird for me to not say sorry. It’s strange because I feel like I have to check my privilege to make sure that other people aren’t being treated differently because of their gender. Does that make sense?

I don’t know, I’m just a lot happier now that I’m actually out. I feel like I can go out, be myself and not have people ask me “why aren’t you more feminine?”, you know things like that. My grandmother actually told me that. She said “you should’ve been born a boy. 

Interviewer: [laughing]

Kai: Joke’s on her. Cuz now I look just like her son. I look just like my dad. It’s crazy. He doesn’t like it. I think he’s jealous. There can only be one. I’m gonna be the one. I’m gonna out live him anyway. 

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Being a queer black non-binary person attending a predominantly white institution, I have felt the discomfort of being the racial minority in the mostly white queer spaces and the sexual and gender minority in spaces with people of color. I didn’t know where I fit, and so I felt very alone.
        

Queer people of color need support, especially trans people of color. Since the capitalist society we live in treats higher education as a necessity to succeed, our safety in these institutions should be treated as a necessity as well. Safety includes being respected, heard, and supported in all of the intersectionalities of our identities. In order for that to happen, it is crucial that we have our own spaces and support systems. I have been subjected to and witnessed a lot of pain associated with race, sexual orientation, and gender. I am here for and will continue to fight for the safety of qtpoc. I encourage you to do so as well.

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